For a long time I’ve been hearing sounds from everything.

From the old, sun-bleached signs. From the silhouette of a schoolgirl happy to be wearing new clothes. Even the cigarette butts scattered along the path to school.

Everything made its own distinctive sound.

Eventually those sounds became noise.

Since then, the world has gotten louder.

I felt as if the world hated me.

Like I was lost at sea, drifting in a sea of noise, all alone.

I can’t take it anymore. So today—I’ll end it all.

!next

“Are you really quitting, Tsukishiro?”

My homeroom teacher’s voice, tinged with noise, asked me. I bowed my head slightly and said, “Thank you for everything.”

It was the first day back after summer vacation of my second year in high school. I was the only student in the air-conditioned staff room after the opening ceremony.

“Even though you just lost your parents, you’ve recovered so quickly, Tsukishiro. It’s impressive. Unlike before, there are so many support programs now, and you could take advantage of them to continue attending school.”

“No, I have something I want to do. This is a good opportunity.”

“You were almost the best in Japan at that rhythm game, weren’t you? You’re a hard worker… If anything happens, come talk to me anytime. I’ll always be your teacher.” 

“Yes. Thank you very much.”

I left the staff room, changed out of my indoor shoes into sneakers, and glanced at the students enthusiastically engaged in their club activities on the field as I stepped outside the school gate.

I’ve officially dropped out of high school.

My classmates—who were more like strangers than acquaintances—will be confused for a week or so about the sudden disappearance of a classmate, but they’d soon return to their routines.

It doesn’t matter. All I’ve are memories of noise with them anyway.

Now my preparations for death were complete.

The scorching sun burned the back of my neck. It didn’t seem like the summer would end anytime soon.

I shoved wireless in-ear headphones into my ears like earplugs and left school behind.

!next

Today is a special day. 

A local train line that has been beloved for eighty years will make its last run.

I’ve been preparing for this day, intending to throw myself in front of this train’s memorable last run.

Today is the last step. I had already chosen the spot—right before the terminal station. Since I had plenty of time before I had to get there, I decided to kill some time at a nearby McDonald’s. 

I got in line to order. While waiting, I took a deep breath to mentally prepare myself.

There were three counters running simultaneously, so it only took about five minutes for my turn to come up.

++Here it is. The interaction with the cashier.++ I steeled myself and removed my wireless earbuds—and in that instant, the sharp noise that had been filling the store rushed at me all at once, like a flood breaking through a dam.

The hum of the air conditioner, the clatter of the counter next to me, the sizzle of the fries in the back, the chatter of the customers in the dining area—it all turned into a distorted noise that surrounded me from all sides, as if trying to stab me to death.

++…It’s even noisier than usual, damn it.++

This mysterious symptom, somewhat like synesthesia, has plagued me for a while. People’s voices and everyday sounds blend into noise, like a radio out of tune. Just seeing them is enough to make me hear a grating screeching sound.

Just as some people taste sounds or feel sensations from letters, I have a condition where I hear noise from all human activity.

++Ugh, damn it. My head feels like it’s going to explode from all this noise pouring down like rain.++

I quickly ordered two hamburgers and a large Coca-Cola. 

As I paid and waited for my order to be placed on a tray, I overheard a conversation from high school students at the table next to the counter.

“Hey, why do you think Hoshimiya Miyuki quit? That whole ‘concentrating on her studies’ thing must be a lie, right?”

“I dunno. Maybe she got pregnant or something?”

“Gahaha, no way! That’d be hilarious though!”

I wish they’d stop yapping so much. It’s ringing in my head.

Carrying my tray with my order, I made my way to a single seat against the wall, as if trying to escape.

“By the way, did you hear? She posted a new song on YouTube yesterday.”

“Oh yeah, that ‘Hahyu’? I heard it. It was really good.”

On the way, the high school girls’ conversation scratched at my eardrums, but once I reached the single seat, I was safe. I set down the tray, tucked my bag under the seat, and sealed myself off from the world by putting my earphones back in.

For now, the surrounding noise faded away. I let out a sigh of relief. When the headache-like fatigue subsided a bit, I opened the YouTube app with a hamburger in one hand.

++—A new song by Hahyu, huh?++

Hahyu (はひゅ)ーis a “utaite” who sings songs using a vocal synthesis software called “Dorothy,” referred to as an “android singer,” and uploads them online. Her age and appearance are unknown, and with her clear, celestial singing ability, she is a talented singer who has become a youth icon in just three years. 

I’ve been a fan of her songs since her debut. Because her songs had no noise at all. Hahyu’s voice alone is as clear as the summer sky after a storm. It’s like it washes over my insides and brings a feeling of peace. For someone like me who has few places to escape to, her voice is nothing less than an oasis.

I selected “Hahyu” from my list of subscribed channels. The latest post at the top was titled “Late FIRE FLOWER”. ++Ah, it’s a new song by Danshari D.++

Like pianists and guitarists, people who use Dorothy to compose songs are called Dorosists. They often add a “D” to the end of their name, from “Dorosist”.

Danshari D is a Dorosist known for his intense compositions and cruel lyrics. Hahyu’s rise to fame as a singer is largely due to Danshari D. Hahyu has even uploaded “song cover” videos for most of Danshari D’s songs.

The mismatch between Hahyu’s expansive singing voice and Danshari D’s dark melodies, as well as Hahyu’s singing ability to poignantly express negative emotions, attracted many Dorothy fans.

I pressed the play button. After a few seconds of ad, the song began with a bass solo. The other instruments—guitar, synthesizer, and more—joined in, and then, like a chemical reaction, intense sounds exploded.

After a relentless barrage of explosive sounds, there was a brief pause. Then, finally, her voice emerged.

++**”I found you from afar, your back heading towards the end looks so small”**++

A beautiful, transparent high-pitched voice.

Many Dorothy songs are composed with keys so high that humans cannot sing them, but Hahyu is also known for her inhumanly high-pitched voice.

**++”Heading towards the end without gaining anything, where will this deceived  heart go?”++**

Though the voice was beautiful, there was unmistakable anguish hidden within it. It was as if she truly carried the weight of those feelings.

**++”Falling, falling, falling, abandoned even by the end, with no knowledge of happiness or sadness.”++**

Although I had never seen her face, it appeared vividly in my mind. I imagined her crying, tears streaming down her face, screaming uncontrollably with raw emotion.

++**”Boring reality, unfulfilled wishes, a future I no longer want, in the night sky where I’ve closed my eyes, ears, and heart”**++

The drums pounded in my ears. The bass and guitar surged forward. Hahyu cried out. The instruments raged and danced toward the climax… then suddenly, the music stopped.

++**”The fireworks burst into bloom.”**++

By the time the chorus began, the crying girl was nowhere to be found.

!next

The sun had completely set.

I was sitting in a dimly lit train, covering my ears. My earphones had died. Without Hahyu’s voice, the noise of the train still seeped through, even though I kept the earbuds in.

The sound of the train displacing air, the wheels rattling along the tracks, the conductor’s announcements—and, worst of all, the unbearable chatter of the train enthusiasts—filled the air. The oppressive heat and humidity from the packed crowd felt like toxic gas. The noise pierced my eardrums, sharp like someone scraping them with a pencil, leaving me with a stinging pain.

After enduring several hellish minutes, the train finally reached its station. I followed the stream of train enthusiasts as they slowly disembarked onto the platform, crowded with people chatting, expensive cameras dangling from their necks.

I pushed through the crowd, hurrying toward the ticket gate. After tapping my IC card, I exited the station. The night greeted me with a chorus of crickets and a warm breeze carrying the smell of fresh grass.

I let out a breath and walked away from the noisy station, down a dimly lit path, past flickering streetlights, and into the wilderness.

My destination was a small bridge that crossed the train tracks—a dilapidated, rickety old bridge the train would pass under just before reaching the terminal station. I was going there to throw myself in front of the train, to meet my end in that very spot.

With that thought driving me, I pushed through the oppressive heat of the tropical night.

After walking up the mountain trail for several minutes, drenched in sweat, I finally arrived at the bridge. It wasn’t a bad spot for train photography, but no one seemed to visit this place.

Leaning my upper body against the bridge’s railing, I gazed absently up at the night sky. The stars filled the heavens, undisturbed by city pollution. The clear mountain air allowed their twinkling light to reach the earth. The temperature was still high, but with my sweat-soaked skin, the breeze felt cool against my cheeks. And most importantly, the noise, which had been so overwhelming before, was completely gone.

This is it. This is the place I’ve been seeking for my death. I didn’t want to end things in some unfamiliar, noisy place that had no meaning to me. It wouldn’t be bad to die here, in this quiet spot, along the train line I’d used since childhood. These thoughts filled my mind.

Caught up in the sentiment, I almost unconsciously reached under my shirt and pulled out a necklace with a crystal pendant. It had been forbidden by school regulations, but I wore it secretly all the time—it was my mother’s keepsake.

Suddenly, an explosion of noise hit me, like cymbals crashing right next to my ear. It was so loud I thought my eardrums might burst. Panicking, I shoved the necklace back under my shirt, as if I were stuffing it into a trash can. The bizarre sound faded, leaving only an irritating reverberation, like a microphone howling.

This necklace is always so noisy. I’ve thought about throwing it away so many times, but I can’t. It’s a keepsake, and getting rid of it would feel like cutting ties with my past, like abandoning my mother.

++Damn it, the mood is completely ruined. It’s always like this. I should never let myself get sentimental.++

I decided to listen to Hahyu’s song to clear my head. No one would be bothered if I played it without earphones here. I reached into my left pocket, thinking that and—

“Huh?”

I frowned. My smartphone wasn’t there. It wasn’t in its usual place. Even after rummaging through my bag, I couldn’t find it anywhere. If I had to guess where it might be, it would be the McDonald’s I’d stopped at earlier. I hadn’t touched my phone since then.

I let out a big sigh and gave up the search. A small regret before death, but it couldn’t be helped.

++Surely, I am hopelessly hated by the world.++

Before long, I heard the distant sound of the train rattling along the tracks. It was almost time. In a few minutes, the train would pass under the bridge and make its final stop at the terminal station. And along with the train that had served its long duty, this rotten life would also end.

I put my foot on the railing and climbed over in one go. As I sat on the iron fence, I could see a yellow light through the gaps in the trees. It was the train’s headlight. As the light gradually grew stronger, I felt death approaching.

I wasn’t trembling. Instead, I felt a strange sense of peace.

I looked up. The countless stars that filled the sky made me feel like I was the only one in this world. It had to be true. There was no one who would mourn my suicide, no one who would stand by me and understand. I was being rejected by the very fabric of this world.

I couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh.

++Ah, I think I can die properly now.++

I leaned my body forward, ready to leap when the time came.

Then—

“Don’t.”

A jolt ran down my spine. I turned around, startled by the voice that suddenly came from behind me. A shadow was standing there, seemingly out of nowhere. Wearing a hat, I couldn’t see their features clearly, but from the delicate posture alone, I could tell it was a girl around my age.

In the few seconds I was frozen, she climbed over the railing and sat down next to me.

++Who is this girl? Since when has she been here? What is she doing here?++ My thoughts raced.

“Hey, right before you die…”

The light was approaching. The moment was near. I snapped back to my senses. I swung my arm as if to ward her off, but only managed to knock off her hat. She grabbed my arm, controlling my resistance.

A dazzling light shone on us.

“—Kiss me.”

With a thunderous roar, the train passed by.

In the world that had returned to darkness, I was kissing the girl… No, I was being kissed. Without missing a beat, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down onto the bridge with her.

Coming to my senses from the impact of the fall, I pushed the girl away while still lying down and stood up, covered in dirt.

“What the… hell!!! You!!!”

My shout echoed into the darkness.

I never expected anyone to interfere. There was no one to tie me to this world, and even if there were, they surely wouldn’t be able to stop me in this darkness. They weren’t supposed to. And yet—

“Why did you stop me?! Don’t screw with me!!”

“…Ufufu. Ahaha. That was a lousy kiss. Was that your first, perhaps?”

My anger flared. I rushed at her, ready to grab her—

“Go ahead, hit me if you want,” she said calmly, freezing my right arm mid-motion. She wasn’t fazed at all.

“I’m a frail, sickly girl, weaker than average. If you do that to me, I might suffer serious aftereffects. Then you might end up in juvenile detention. You wouldn’t be able to commit suicide for a while, right?”

“…You can’t catch me. You don’t even know my name.”

“I don’t know, but I can track you down.”

I didn’t understand what she meant. She knew nothing about me, yet this girl spoke with such certainty, without a shred of hesitation.

“It’s because I can see the future.”

“…Huh?”

“You don’t believe me, right?”

“Believe? You should get a grip on reality before talking about the future.”

“Wow, harsh. So, why do you think I’m here?”

She brushed the dirt off her clothes as she continued.

“It’s because I saw a future where you killed yourself.”

“…What?”

A cold, unsettling feeling crept into the pit of my stomach.

That can’t be true. It had to be a lie. But for just a moment, the weight of her words carried a sharp truth that dulled my thinking.

“That’s why I came here. And I changed the future for you.”

She placed her hand on my chest. The soft touch of her palm, even through my shirt, made my heartbeat quicken slightly. Yes, my heartbeat. The sound of life, keeping the living alive.

“I changed the future where you die.”

A cold fear ran down my spine, and I instinctively brushed her hand away.

++Who is this girl? Spouting ridiculous nonsense about seeing the future, yet how can her voice sound so convincing?++

“You see, when I touch someone or their belongings, I can see their future. I found your phone that you left at McDonald’s, and I thought I’d use future sight to track you down and return it, but what I saw was the scene of your suicide. Once I saw that, I couldn’t just leave it alone. So, I rushed over here by taxi.”

As she spoke, the girl pulled out a smartphone from somewhere. In the darkness where the only light source was the starlight, the artificial light emanating from the small box was painfully bright. And the light from the phone illuminated her face, which had been hidden in the darkness.

I thought I was going to faint.

“H-Hoshimiya Miyuki…!”

“Eh, you just realized? Took you long enough.”

I instinctively took a step back, hitting my back against the railing. I looked at the girl fiddling with the smartphone in front of me over and over again.

Wide-open eyes that seemed to be half-foreign. A straight nose. Short, fluffy hair that swayed gently. No matter how many times I looked, it was Hoshimiya Miyuki. The Hoshimiya Miyuki who made her acting debut in middle school, won the Japan Academy Award for Best Actress at the youngest age, and then suddenly retired three months ago.

“N-no, I never even considered… that it would be you,” I stammered, automatically switching to a more polite tone. After all, she was a year older than me, if I remember correctly.

“You should have recognized me by my voice.”

“That’s impossible. Besides… you have a pretty sharp tongue.”

I hardly ever watched TV, but I had a much more innocent image of her from what I’d seen on the screen. She had this reputation for being the girl who charmed all the guys with her shy smile and perfect white teeth. The way she was talking now was completely different from that impression.

“This is my true self. It’s fine, isn’t it?”

“W-well, anyway, that smartphone is mine, isn’t it? Thank you for finding it.”

“Nope. I’m not giving it back.”

Just as I was about to grab it, Hoshimiya Miyuki snatched the phone away.

“I haven’t received an apology yet. You tried to hit me, and treated me like a liar.”

“…I’m sorry. I apologize.”

As much as I found her annoying, I didn’t want to cause any more trouble, so I apologized sincerely.

“And you stole my first kiss.”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“Just kidding. Anyway, since you apologized, does that mean you believe in my future vision?”

“That’s a separate issue… Wait, were you serious?”

“Of course. I don’t lie.”

“Isn’t your TV persona a lie?”

Hoshimiya Miyuki deliberately averted her gaze at my rebuttal. It seemed she was the type to ignore things she didn’t want to hear. Clearly, she had quite the personality.

She started muttering “Hmm” while holding my smartphone in her hand. Her voice sounded like she was doing mental calculations. What on earth is she thinking?

“Hey, wow… Okay, I’ll show you my foresight now,” she said.

“Huh? No, that’s enough. I believe you. Just give it back already.”

“You’re so annoying. Just wait a little longer.”

When she turned off the phone’s screen, darkness once again enveloped the area. Perhaps because I had been exposed to the phone’s light, it felt even darker than before.

“Look, fireworks are about to go off now.”

And right after she said that, a sharp, piercing sound split the air from about 500 meters away. It shot up into the sky, and with a loud explosion, a large flower bloomed in the night sky.

The bright red glow illuminated Hoshimiya Miyuki. Her narrowed, seductive eyes and mischievous smile were revealed.

“——So? Do you believe in my foresight now?”

Hoshimiya Miyuki’s smile was filled with hidden meaning. Combined with the darkness, she exuded a dangerous allure, like something that might hurt you if you got too close.

If the fireworks display was a coincidence, it meant that she had not foreseen the fact that the fireworks would go off. And of course, if she had prepared the fireworks in advance for this moment, she couldn’t have done so without foreknowing that I would appear in this remote area.

Whether it was a coincidence or something she arranged, I had no choice but to conclude that she could actually see the future.

Not that I can accept that so easily right now, though.

“No matter how I think about it, this isn’t normal…”

“Oh? You’re more open-minded than I thought. Alright, I’ll give you back your phone now.”

“Th-Thanks. Well, I guess I’ll be going then—”

“Hold it.”

She grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. Half-annoyed, I turned around.

“What now?”

“Why were you trying to kill yourself?”

Her face was closer than ever, almost close enough for another kiss. But this time, her expression was deadly serious—something I hadn’t seen before. Eyes that condemned my actions. A gaze that genuinely criticized my attempt to throw away my life.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s none of your business.”

“It absolutely matters. Don’t you have any regrets? Have you lived your life to the fullest, enough that you could die with a smile?”

“To the fullest? Really?”

Her words struck a nerve, and I could feel the blood rushing to my head.

“Shut up. Don’t spout pretty words like you know anything.”

Hoshimiya Miyuki doesn’t understand anything. She was scouted when she was still in middle school, skyrocketed to fame, and had it all—only to casually give it up. Someone who’s lived a life of smooth sailing like her could never understand how I feel.

“Just being alive is painful. I’m not cut out for this world. I don’t want this life anymore… I just want to end it all.”

It wasn’t like I’d given up from the start. I resented the cursed nature of my life, yet I tried desperately to find a way to live. But fighting for it was pointless. What little I gained slipped away easily.

That’s why I wanted to end it all. I wasn’t allowed to choose how to live, so at the very least, I wanted to choose how to die. It was the one thing I wasn’t willing to give up.

“That’s unfortunate,” Hoshimiya Miyuki spat out, her voice dripping with contempt. “You’re not going to end things. I’m going to stop you, no matter what.”

“Bull—”

With a light popping sound, an electric shock jolted my cheek. My head tilted from the force, followed by a burning pain assaulting my left cheek. I had been slapped for the first time in my life.

“Don’t say ‘bullshit.’ Do you know how much people who are dying wish for a future? People who couldn’t reach tomorrow even though they wanted to live, and here you are throwing yours away! Why did it come to this? Tell me, why?”

“Wh-What the hell…?”

My mind went blank. After all, I didn’t really want to die either.

“If I could, I’d want to live a peaceful life too. But I can’t anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

She didn’t respond. Her soft breathing strangely stirred my heart.

“Do you understand what it’s like? Living surrounded by sickening sounds all the time? People’s voices irritate me, and every signal and building screeches as I walk through the city. School, filled with people, is hell. Do you get it? How exhausting it is? How suffocating? How much I’ve endured to survive?”

I even tried to find a place to escape, but some incomprehensible misfortune took that away from me. I’m doomed to live my life swallowed by this noise.

“I can’t take it anymore. I want to end it here.”

“I see,” Hoshimiya Miyuki answered softly. Then, suddenly, she grabbed me by the collar.

“You’ve had a tough time, huh? But you know what? I’m not noble enough to just accept that and let it slide. If there’s an idiot in front of me trying to die, I’m going to do something.”

“Give me a break…”

Maybe she thinks she’s being righteous, but she’s a real pain in the ass.

“Living here is hell. I have no choice but to die. Just leave me alone.”

“Oh, is that how it is?”

Hoshimiya Miyuki suddenly let go of my hand. Caught off guard, I staggered.

“So, you want that noise of yours to go away, right?”

“Huh?”

She pointed her slender finger at my forehead and declared with a confident smile, “Got it. I’ll help you. Give me nine months. I’ll make you want to live in nine months.”

“Wait a second.”

I didn’t want her to just take control of the conversation. The premise itself was absurd.

“Why should I accept such a proposal? Nine months? Do whatever you want. Whatever you’re thinking, it has nothing to do with me—”

“’It has nothing to do with me. I’ll just ignore you and commit suicide, is it?’ That’s not going to work. I’ll stop you. Don’t underestimate my resolve. You don’t have the right to refuse.”

She was undeniably right.

Even if I rejected her proposal, if she kept preventing my suicide for nine months, the result would be the same.

“Can you even prove it? This whole thing. What if this noise is all just a lie?”

“If that gloom of yours was an act, you’d make a better actor than me.”

“Hah.”

I sighed, looking up at the night sky. I got entangled with such a troublesome girl. My heart was worn down by the world’s malice, and even my hard-won decision to commit suicide was thwarted. How much does this world hate me? I haven’t felt this angry in a long time.

…But. It had also been a long time since someone confronted me with such intense emotions. In a world filled with noise. In a world where misfortune rained down endlessly. In a world I had already given up on. How long had it been since I had a proper exchange of opinions with someone?

“…Alright.”

I accepted. Not just because it was pointless to refuse her, but more than that, I felt a strange urge to try. Because this girl, Hoshimiya Miyuki, was too clear. Her voice, her gestures, her emotions—all of it reached me without distortion.

“Alright, it’s decided. I’ll definitely do something about your noise.”

“Not that it’ll work, though.”

I glared at her threateningly, but Hoshimiya didn’t seem to care as she handed me her phone. Displayed in the blinding light was a QR code—her LINE friend registration screen. I fumbled, unfamiliar with the interface, but managed to register her. Then, I sent just “a” to her, so she could see my account.

“Fufu, what’s with the ‘a’? Hmm, your name is Tsukishiro Ikki. Nice to meet you.” She giggled and replied with “aaa.”

Why is she being competitive?

Hoshimiya Miyuki picked up the hat I had knocked off earlier, dusted it off, and put it back on. Then, she extended her hand toward me.

I hesitated for a moment, but then I nervously took her hand with my fingertips.

From that connection, a beautiful sound rang out.

It was reminiscent of a grand piano—a pure, pleasant tone without any noise. For the first time in six months, I heard such a beautiful sound, and I couldn’t take my eyes off Hoshimiya.

++Maybe, just maybe—++

For a brief moment, such a feeling welled up within me and then vanished.

A foreword: This is the story of Tsukishiro’s life until its end.

!next

If you want updates for future chapter releases and new series, Click here to join our Discord Server now.